Parents

Dear Sisters,  The last few weeks, I have been thinking a lot about our parents. The anniversary of Mothers passing brought many tears and memories to mind. I love her and miss her a lot. I often think of the life she lived. The sweet times and the sorrow. I think of how we might judge her quite harshly sometimes for some of the things she did or didn't do.  Then I turn inward and think of my life and the ways my children judge me for not being protective enough, loving enough or standing up for them when I should have. And I realize that this is the fate of all mothers and fathers. This is the life cycle that we all live and none of us escape. At least those of us who are parents. Not one of us is perfect and we shouldn't expect our parents to be perfect either.
      I'm sure mother cried herself to sleep many nights, for the things her children had to suffer. Just like I have.
     I'm sure she wished things could be different. Just like I have.
     I'm sure she wished her husband could have been more loving and kind to her children, just like I have.
     So, I want to thank father for feeding me. For all the trips to D I. For the phone, when it was working. For the electricity, when it was on. For trusting me to drive his diesel.  For teasing me and saying he thought it was mother playing the piano, when he knew all along it was me, playing maybe a 1/16 as good as she did.  For the clarinet duets.  For "It's Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom Time" anytime there were 3 of us together. And for so many more things.
     I could never list all the reasons I am grateful for mother but I do want to thank her for being the best mother she could be. I want to thank her for the music. Her music gave her such solace when I'm sure she felt she couldn't go on. It lifted her up and gave back to her the love she had given to it.  How she loved her piano.  For the 5:30 wake up calls to her lively rendition of 'Polish Dance'. For the 20 years she fed me three meals a day. For making Kay and I long underwear to wear to school, so we would feel like we were just as righteous as the Hammon girls.  For making me believe I could do anything.  For sitting in the hallway every night for as long as I can remember and reading adventure stories to us. She gave us the world every night.  For teaching us how to clean a house. For combing through our matted, snarly hair every Saturday night and wrapping all that hair back into rag ringlets.  For being prideful, talented, stubborn, determined, kind, loving and human.  But most of all, for teaching us how to be the best mothers we could be.   I thank you again, mother.  Love, Jelene